“Does this make me look fat? “

Negotiating terms with Insecurity.

It seems like it is difficult to go more than a day without having a visit from Insecurity. In a society where celebrities are worshiped, “Reality tv” is preferred entertainment, and wealth is measured by the car one drives, Insecurity has quite the clout and influence on people. It can also be overwhelming and very misleading.

Insecurity does not discriminate gender, age, economic status, occupation, etc. It convinces us to buy into what it is selling; things like “He’s more successful than me”, “She’s so much prettier than me”, “Nobody will ever love me”. It is cruel and relentless and can allow hopelessness to come into our lives. This can start to become the way we operate our daily lives.So the question then becomes, “How do I work on feeling more secure?”

First we need to understand what Insecurity looks and feels like.

Here are just a few things that come to mind:

· A dark cloud or heavy baggage

· A sense of judgment from others based on a variety of factors

· Vulnerability , Self-Doubt, Lack of Confidence

· Relentless irrational questions in our heads

· Comparisons and “Should Haves”

Some of us show this in our outward behavior but I believe many more of us struggle with this internally. It can come on as a slow gradual process or hit us abruptly after something like a major loss. It then will dictate our actions and thoughts and work to damage our relationships.

How do we negotiate with Insecurity and demand it release us from it’s shackles?

·Surround ourselves with supportive people.

·Remind ourselves of personal strengths and if this is difficult, ask one of those supportive people to remind us

·Ask ourselves what is most meaningful in our life, this is what defines us, not Insecurity’s label

You can get out of those shackles, and in turn begin living a life with less stress and more meaning.

“Confidence is silent. Insecurities are Loud.”

If you or someone you know is need of some support or guidance, I’m here to help. www.therapywithheather.com

In Veritas Libertas