The Webster definition of Obsession is a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling and or something /someone that a person thinks about constantly or frequently. I think the “something” is the most relevant part of the definition thinking of today’s social media culture. The “something” is our electronic device; the thing that that might as well be permanently attached to our hand. This is the thing we rely on to connect us to all the social media outlets possible. They question I'd like to pose is “What does a person get out of this?”

I see and hear about many representations about what people “get out of it”, at least what they think they’re getting out it. Lets take the big one, Facebook. Consistently, I’ve noticed more and more that people are using it like an open journal for the world to see. Selfies posted, inspirational quotes, passive aggressive quotes, and a lot of complaining. I also came across the article I attached here which talks about this "obsession". It seems that people now fear "directness" and find their pseudo confidence behind an electronic device. Much of the Millennial generation shows examples of this on a daily basis. How many likes they get on a particular picture may make or break their day. How the "feel" about a particular subject whether it be politics, religion, or a celebrity cannot be met with a challenging opinion or one becomes "offended" or in some cases flat out rude.

I see clients who don't rely so much on social media living a much more fulfilled life. They are less stressed, anxious, and depressed because they spend time doing things that fill them: yoga, spending time with family, being outside in the world, etc. They have "real" and healthy relationships with real life people. I fear that the younger generations are becoming ill equipped to deal with human to human contact.

We do need our electronics and smart phones, but I challenge you to put it down when you get home. Limit the amount of screen time and balance it out with something else you enjoy. Turn it off when it is time for bed. Stop obsessing over everyone else's life and love yourself!

Heather Cotsenmoyer, LMFT

In Veritas Libertas

The Power of Letter Writing & Therapeutic Documents

There are many ideas of what the therapy process is like, and with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) so mainstream, many clients expect to receive “homework” from their therapist. CBT employs the use of homework to “allow” the client to practice skills that they’ve been working on in therapy sessions in everyday life. Some researchers (Fehm & Morse 2008) have shown that clients who complete homework have better outcomes in therapy and homework helps facilitate incorporation of these skills in everyday life. I believe that homework is beneficial for many of my clients, but not one of my requirements.

My foundational training is in Narrative therapy which involves “re-authoring” or “re-storying” conversations. www.narrativetherapycentre.com

The idea is to “de-construct” the stories we’ve been living by that have been affecting us, and get back to a “preferred” way of living. Narrative therapy, unlike CBT, does not focus on behavior modification, but more on the therapeutic conversation itself. However, I do use a combination of these two ideas when suggesting the letter writing exercise to my clients. Most times, the end result is more of a “declaration” to the Problem and terms and conditions from the client on how they’ll be moving forward with or without the Problem.

Here is an example of a conversation about the “assignment”:

1. What would you call the Problem/s that brought you into therapy?

ex: Depression, Guilt, Shame, Addiction, etc.

*This is naming the problem, getting a better understanding of how the client experiences life*

2. “How has the Depression been controlling your life?” “What kind of person does the Depression tell you are? “

* This helps externalize the Problems and help the client set up their terms and conditions*

3. “Between now and our next session, write a letter to Depression. Talk to Depression about your current relationship. Let Depression know exactly how you feel about it’s affects on your life and how things are about to change”

*This sets the Problem (Depression) apart from the client and allows them to remove the label of “I’m a depressed person” and move towards “I have a relationship with Depression I can manage”.

This is just a brief example, and this usually happens after a few sessions with the client. I have been privileged to hear some beautiful, powerfully moving, and emotional letters. My clients have said things like, “the experience was initially difficult but worth it after completed.” They have been mostly thankful for the “assignment” and appreciative of the therapeutic support. The beauty of this is that this can be a lifelong tool. Letters and declarations can be written to Problems, Family or Friends, and I have even written letters to clients about our work in session.

If you or anyone you know is interested in therapy, feel free to contact me.