The Webster definition of Obsession is a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling and or something /someone that a person thinks about constantly or frequently. I think the “something” is the most relevant part of the definition thinking of today’s social media culture. The “something” is our electronic device; the thing that that might as well be permanently attached to our hand. This is the thing we rely on to connect us to all the social media outlets possible. They question I'd like to pose is “What does a person get out of this?”

I see and hear about many representations about what people “get out of it”, at least what they think they’re getting out it. Lets take the big one, Facebook. Consistently, I’ve noticed more and more that people are using it like an open journal for the world to see. Selfies posted, inspirational quotes, passive aggressive quotes, and a lot of complaining. I also came across the article I attached here which talks about this "obsession". It seems that people now fear "directness" and find their pseudo confidence behind an electronic device. Much of the Millennial generation shows examples of this on a daily basis. How many likes they get on a particular picture may make or break their day. How the "feel" about a particular subject whether it be politics, religion, or a celebrity cannot be met with a challenging opinion or one becomes "offended" or in some cases flat out rude.

I see clients who don't rely so much on social media living a much more fulfilled life. They are less stressed, anxious, and depressed because they spend time doing things that fill them: yoga, spending time with family, being outside in the world, etc. They have "real" and healthy relationships with real life people. I fear that the younger generations are becoming ill equipped to deal with human to human contact.

We do need our electronics and smart phones, but I challenge you to put it down when you get home. Limit the amount of screen time and balance it out with something else you enjoy. Turn it off when it is time for bed. Stop obsessing over everyone else's life and love yourself!

Heather Cotsenmoyer, LMFT

In Veritas Libertas

Recovery; A Second Thought.

In the many conversations that I've had with clients, it seems apparent that there is a preconceived notion and seeking of "recovery" from problems. And according to societal standards, if one is not able to to do this in a short period of time, then they have failed.
Here is society's mathematical calculation: pressure with the client to FIX things, and pressure from the therapist to FIX things eventually = recovery.

The dictionary definition of recovery is "a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength." Just the fact that the definition contains the word normal, makes it easy to understand how pressure exerts all its power on someone. It is also understood that there are processes involved in recovery. It is the therapist's job to question the process and assist with better understanding of the person's relationship with the problems. There should not be an attempt at making the person more normal.

When we hear about the recovery process, it is common to assume there may be "issues" centered around what can be referred to as substance abuse. I will use alcohol as an example. I meet with a group of wonderful women on a weekly basis and we have rich conversations around their past and previous relationships with alcohol. I attempt to collaborate a shift in thinking and examination of the relationship between the person and the alcohol. We look at all sides of the relationship and "renegotiate" this relationship with alcohol. (Madsen, W. 2007 Collaborative Therapy with Multi-Stressed Families) This is done with questioning and curiosity, rather than concluding and advising for example, that if she just STOPPED drinking and being an ALCOHOLIC, than she'll be able to recover.
I know that some clients may in fact need to focus on abstinence in the short term to survive, but as a clinician I realize that in the long term, moderation can be a viable option in the process. Risks should always be taken into account, but focus should be on the person's strengths and not their deficits.