The Webster definition of Obsession is a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling and or something /someone that a person thinks about constantly or frequently. I think the “something” is the most relevant part of the definition thinking of today’s social media culture. The “something” is our electronic device; the thing that that might as well be permanently attached to our hand. This is the thing we rely on to connect us to all the social media outlets possible. They question I'd like to pose is “What does a person get out of this?”

I see and hear about many representations about what people “get out of it”, at least what they think they’re getting out it. Lets take the big one, Facebook. Consistently, I’ve noticed more and more that people are using it like an open journal for the world to see. Selfies posted, inspirational quotes, passive aggressive quotes, and a lot of complaining. I also came across the article I attached here which talks about this "obsession". It seems that people now fear "directness" and find their pseudo confidence behind an electronic device. Much of the Millennial generation shows examples of this on a daily basis. How many likes they get on a particular picture may make or break their day. How the "feel" about a particular subject whether it be politics, religion, or a celebrity cannot be met with a challenging opinion or one becomes "offended" or in some cases flat out rude.

I see clients who don't rely so much on social media living a much more fulfilled life. They are less stressed, anxious, and depressed because they spend time doing things that fill them: yoga, spending time with family, being outside in the world, etc. They have "real" and healthy relationships with real life people. I fear that the younger generations are becoming ill equipped to deal with human to human contact.

We do need our electronics and smart phones, but I challenge you to put it down when you get home. Limit the amount of screen time and balance it out with something else you enjoy. Turn it off when it is time for bed. Stop obsessing over everyone else's life and love yourself!

Heather Cotsenmoyer, LMFT

In Veritas Libertas

Haven't we all heard those words at some point?
"GET A GRIP!" "WHY DON'T YOU JUST RELAX?" "CALM DOWN!"

Even though other's intentions may seem like simple advice they are trying to pass on, for most people these terms can increase if not perpetuate the emotion. Emotions can become very loud in our ears. It may start with something more mild like Irritation, who will then invite Anger, Frustration, and Sadness to come hang out. There is no "quick fix" to just STOP these feelings.
My first question to you would be "What is screaming loudest in your ear? What are you feeling the strongest?" Once it can be named, it can be deconstructed, like peeling the layers of an onion. You will start to see that you are skilled, competent, and have the ability to reduce these emotions/problems that want to take control of your life. You are the expert of your own life and as the therapist I'm here to help you find exceptions to these "problems". These problems are looked at as separate entities, and do not define you.
Not just therapy, but even conversations, are always most helpful when there is a collaboration. Don't forget, there is always HOPE!

Interested in therapy or support groups? Contact me for appointment information.

Heather Cotsenmoyer, MA, MFTI